Michael showed this to me on ThinkGeek.com And I thought it was so funny, and had to share.
- Operating instructions for new humans
- Troubleshoot all your problems easily
- RTFM before you have a baby
The birth of your child – what a miracle! But then you bring the little creature home and you realize that you have no idea what to do with it. “Why didn’t this thing come with an instruction manual?” you cry out in vain. You try moving it up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right…but where are the B and A buttons? Why is it screaming? How do you get it to stop? And what, oh all that is holy, is that horrid smell? STOP!!! Take a deep breath. You have a copy of The Baby Owner’s Manual, and everything is going to be just fine.
Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Baby Owner’s Manual explores the common concerns of every first-time parent: What’s the best way to swaddle a baby? How can I make my newborn sleep through the night? When should I bring the baby to a doctor for servicing? Whatever your question, you’ll find the answer here – courtesy of celebrated pediatrician Dr. Louis Borgenicht and his son, Joe Borgenicht (also celebrated, in his own way). Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of childcare. Because once you learn the basics, you can then learn how to do the super combo moves. We have no idea what that means, either.
Baby not included.